The “Dream-Came-True” Blues

The first time I realized I was suffering from “Dream Came True Blues” (DCTB)  was a few weeks after our wedding when my husband gently asked me to stop buying bridal magazines. Not only did they take up half of our 600 sq. foot apartment, but at almost $9 per magazine, I was basically throwing away our Costco hot dog money. Oh, also, we were already married.Like many girls, I had dreamed of my wedding day for years. I played “bride and groom” with the boys in my preschool class and, if 4-year-old’s could be ordained, I’d probably still be married to a few of them. I loved planning my wedding. It was stressful and time consuming and required endless amounts of lists. Heaven. I had a binder full of torn magazine pages and printed out blog posts on table decor and Mother-of-the-groom DIY gift ideas. My binder was Pinterest

On July 23, 2005, from 2 pm to 7 pm, my dream came true. And then it was over.

There was no need to buy magazines for inspiration or AOL search “wedding hair styles” to show my bridesmaids. Now I had to figure out how to be married.

I remember being truly sad that my wedding was over. It felt like a loss. I was so happy with how it all had played out but, what now?

For many months I’ve been feeling the symptoms of “DCTB” again. It’s only been recently that I self-diagnosed and have been seeking treatment.

In July of 2013, Tim and I threw ourselves into our dream of adoption. We spent over a year wading through paperwork and appointments and fundraising. We started a small business to help pay the huge fees and spent every available moment making leather goods, selling leather goods, and shipping leather goods. We dreamed about our son or daughter and read every book we could get our hands on about adoption and attachment and helping a child adjust to his or her new family.

I had a binder and a Pinterest board. It was stressful and time consuming and required HUNDREDS of lists. Heaven. I was moving towards my dream and watching it come true in real time.

Then, on Dec 9th, 2014 at 10:49 am, I had a missed call from our social work about a 7 month old boy’s file. An hour later, we sat on the floor in our bedroom, looking at an email containing the face of our son. On March 16th, 2015, Oliver was ours. Dream come true. And now I spend my days figuring out how to be the best Momma I can be for my kids.

So, now what? No more forms to get notarized. No more wallets to ship (for now).

Que another round of DCTB.

Now that I have identified the source of my sadness, it’s time to discuss the treatment and it’s not more dreams. Not that I don’t have more dreams. I’ve got lots. For whatever reason, true to form (wedding, international adoption, etc.), they are all really expensive. They are also not for this season of my life so there are no Pinterest boards or binders or lists to create.

I‘ve found the treatment to be a healthy, daily dose of “THANK YOU, JESUS!”

Fellow dreamers and risk takers, once your dream has come true and you have reaped the fruit of your risk, you will feel loss. Don’t let it rob you of the knowledge that God is Faithful. You have now seen His faithfulness and goodness first-hand and there is nothing the enemy would like more then to make you forget because he knows the power that a faith-filled dreamer can have.

So keep dreaming and risking and working and praying. And, as your faith muscles grow and promises are fulfilled, let those empty spaces in your heart be filled with thankfulness and joy.

Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. 1 Chronicles 16:8

 

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “The “Dream-Came-True” Blues

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s